“Everyone, I’m out of jail.”
[Welcome back]
[Why didn’t you stream yesterday?]
[It was only a one-day suspension]
[Just tell us why you didn’t stream~~~]
[What a crazy b*tch]
I started streaming early this morning after my suspension was lifted.
The suspension seemed to have worked as publicity, as viewers flooded in as soon as I went live. The image of being “the guy who got suspended for seeing someone in underwear” had apparently become quite popular, bringing in viewers from various other streams.
They kept announcing which streams they came from, which the Daeju-dan didn’t seem to appreciate.
[Why are these idiots announcing where they’re from when nobody asked?]
ㄴ [Has been forcibly removed]
“Hey, why’d you do that?”
Just as I was watching the viewer count rise, one of the angry Daeju-dan members suddenly lashed out. The other Daeju-dan members didn’t criticize their action… if anything, they all agreed with it.
[For real, wherever they’re from, they need to follow our rules now that they’re here]
[What are our rules? I’m a Daeju-dan but I honestly don’t know]
[TBH I don’t know either but let’s ban mentions of other streamers]
[What about Yeonhee?]
[Let’s make an exception for collab partners]
And that’s how rules I didn’t even know about started appearing in my stream.
What is even happening?
“Anyway, I’ll be doing a tofu mukbang to celebrate my release.”
With those words, I switched to cam mode.
[What’s this? What’s this?]
[Something big is coming. Something big is coming.]
[What’s this? Tofu, green onions, garlic, and kimchi too? Another cooking stream?]
[Still hasn’t learned his lesson about cooking, has he? lol]
[Who the hell cooks tofu to celebrate getting out anyway?]
“But tofu doesn’t taste good plain…”
At the very least, you need soy sauce to eat tofu, and if we’re going to eat it, might as well make it tasty – that was my thinking as I prepared to cook the tofu, but the chat was being flooded with question marks.
[Fact: There are several reasons, but traditionally eating tofu after release symbolizes becoming pure white/clean, meaning to live an honest life.]
[Fact: But this guy’s planning to put the tofu in bright red kimchi stew.]
[Message received loud and clear that you won’t be reforming.]
[That’s our streamer for you lol]
“Oh, I didn’t know it had that meaning”
Honestly, I didn’t know the reason. I just thought eating tofu was what you did after getting released.
But reformation? Reform…
“Why should I reform when I didn’t even do anything wrong to get suspended?”
[He’s got a point]
[Oh right, that’s what happened]
[Fair enough, let’s just put the tofu in kimchi stew lol]
[My memory got warped and I thought Daeju just saw some lewd pics lol]
Come to think of it, I hadn’t done anything wrong.
I just asked for clothing recommendations, and it was Soo-ah, the convenience store part-timer, who posted that kind of photo. Hmm. And I exchanged contact information yesterday with the person who posted that photo?
Am I the crazy one? Or was Soo-ah being brazen yesterday?
Is it even possible to exchange numbers after something like that? Well, we did, but how was it possible?
Anyway, since I had all the ingredients out, it was time for redemption.
This time was different. I had thoroughly studied a famous cooking YouTuber’s recipe, making sure not to miss even the smallest detail. I had all the ingredients prepared, and I even matched the heat intensity, additional ingredients for better taste, and the recommended sourness level of the kimchi.
How could this possibly taste bad?
This had to be a curse. Unless some deity of cooking had cursed me for leaving food uneaten before, it was impossible for this to taste bad.
“By the way, since this is a famous cooking YouTuber’s recipe, any criticism of the cooking is basically insulting them~”
[???]
[How does that logic work?]
[lol it’s like saying insulting me for writing in Korean is insulting King Sejong[1] lol]
[Actually, I think if Daeju makes it taste bad, he should apologize to that YouTuber lol]
[+2222][2]
“I’m really confident about today.”
[He says he’s really confident today lol]
[Ah lol you’re lol con-fi-lol-dent lol]
[Your tongue’s getting ahead of yourself lol just cook lol]
[How about ordering kimchi stew in advance to save time today?]
I maintained my composure despite all these insults.
“No, but this one really pisses me off”
Until I couldn’t.
I couldn’t forgive a viewer who suddenly tried to make a “your dad” joke. I couldn’t accept getting hit with parental insults just because I said I was confident after failing at cooking once.
I had perfectly identified the factors that led to my previous failure.
More ingredients don’t make it better, and I shouldn’t substitute ingredients. Just the exact amounts according to the recipe – I even had a scale next to me today.
Such thoroughness.
It felt more like a science experiment than cooking, but there’s nothing wrong with being thorough.
[The preparation is pretty solid today]
[At least Daeju didn’t spend his suspension time running around]
[You never know lol he might have been getting girls’ numbers and having fun lol]
[Imagining that got me really turned on, what should I do?]
[What do you want us to do about that;;; handle it yourself, don’t advertise it in chat]
“…”
There was a chat I couldn’t deny.
Did I get contact information? Well, I was given numbers twice, and once I asked for it because of the flow of conversation, so it’s not entirely wrong. But I wasn’t having that kind of fun. However, I didn’t bother denying it verbally. I had a feeling I’d regret taking that bait.
I started cooking right away.
Actually, it was going too smoothly. Kimchi stew wasn’t an unfamiliar dish, and both the meat and kimchi were perfect. I had my phone right next to me with the steps, so there was no chance of confusion, but the viewers didn’t seem to appreciate things going so smoothly.
[Hmm…]
[This might actually be edible?]
[Disappointed]
[This isn’t… right…]
“Come on, I told you I’m good at cooking!”
[Subscribed to the cooking YouTuber and unsubscribed from Daeju’s YouTube^^]
[For real, that’s how it should be]
[A cooking YouTuber who can even save Daeju wow]
My confidence was building, and the cooking proceeded smoothly until completion.
Nothing burned, the seasoning was perfect, and the kimchi, being from a major company, tasted good. It tasted good when I sampled it while cooking, and it was excellent when I tasted it after finishing.
This must be perfect.
“This turned out well~ Who made this~”
I kept shoving the food in front of the camera to provoke them.
[Please put that away]
[He’s excited]
[That kimchi stew is definitely going to be terrible]
[The fox and the kimchi stew;; saying it’s bad because he can’t eat it]
[It’ll probably taste bad somehow? Just because]
“Come on, give me some praise! How could this possibly taste bad!”
It was frustrating in its own way that they wouldn’t believe me even though I was eating it right in front of them.
Because of the previous jjamppong cooking stream, my image had hit rock bottom, and no matter how successful my cooking was now, it seemed impossible to recover.
[If someone else tries it and says it’s good, then we’ll acknowledge it]
“Someone else? Just wait”
Who could it be?
Someone around here who understands my streaming and would be willing to appear on it.
Someone like that—
Actually, there is someone.
I checked the contacts in my phone.
Yeonhee lives in Gimpo so she’s out, Geum Taeyang or Sena don’t know about my streaming, so what about Soo-ah?
Given that she’s a Daeju-dan who regularly posts on the board and works part-time at two places around here, she must live nearby.
The question is whether she’d come if I called
<Going>
<I’ll be there>
<Wait>
<Heading out>
<Should I come now?>
<3 minutes>
<2 minutes>
<Almost there>
<Here>
She was already on her way as soon as I asked if it might be possible for her.
And she’d already arrived before I even asked her to come.
She came before I could even ask if she was okay with being on stream.
So I had no choice but to go down and ask her directly and bring her up.
“Just a moment, I’ll go get her”
[??? There’s really someone?]
[There’s someone willing to eat Daeju’s cooking?]
[I’d go too]
[For real, while eating kimchi stew you might as well eat Daeju too lol]
[What is he, dessert? lol]
I glanced at the chat before heading down.
When I went down the stairs, I saw Soo-ah leaning against the railing, fidgeting with her hairstyle on her phone.
Hearing my footsteps, she turned her head and greeted me with a slight eye-smile.
I awkwardly returned her greeting with a slight nod.
“Today, actually, the reason I called is for the stream—”
As I explained my situation, Soo-ah nodded with a bitter smile.
“Actually, I was watching the stream”
“Ah…”
As expected of a Daeju-dan.
Well, it did seem odd that she’d come to a man’s place without asking questions when called, but I figured it was because this was a reversed world.
Turns out it was purely out of goodwill as a viewer.
Actually, a Daeju-dan like Soo-ah is totally favorable. Always watching my streams like this, caring enough to watch even during her convenience store shifts until she got fired.
…I still felt sorry about that point even though it wasn’t my fault.
Even though she writes posts like that, in person she supports me and helps with the stream.
Where else could you find such a nice Daeju-dan?
As I was thanking Soo-ah for always watching my streams and heading up the stairs to film, her wallet fell.
It fell right in front of me, and as I was about to pick it up, something fell out of the wallet.
At first, I thought it was vitamin pills, but.
The packaging said ‘For a long night – Long Night’ and there was some kind of sweet smell.
A rubber-like texture.
But it wasn’t a balloon.
A device for contraception.
“Is this… that?”
“Ah, that, no, it’s not like that. Just… just in case?”
She was a Daeju-dan after all.
(End of Chapter)
T/N:
- King Sejong reference is the creator of the Korean alphabet (Hangul)
- “+2222” is Korean internet slang for agreement (similar to +1 in English).
