“Wow, I really slept well.”
Is sleep this sweet after an intense workout?
Even though I seemed to have slept about the same amount of time as usual, my mind felt clearer.
“Wow, I’m really stiff.”
Instead, muscle soreness made my whole body feel heavy, as if weights were attached.
Especially my arms – when I tried to lift them above my shoulders, they trembled like an old farm tractor. With this much shaking, it was no different from a phone on vibrate mode.
Even with arms that went beyond just shaking to full-on trembling, I managed to turn on the stream first.
I turned on the stream right after waking up to keep the promise I’d irresponsibly made when ending early yesterday. Even at this early hour, about 1,500 viewers quickly joined.
“Good to see you all. Haha, yesterday was a bit much, right?”
[Haha? You’re laughing?]
[I was so pissed at this ba*tard yesterday I had to do self-consolation twice]
[Master… what’s the connection between being pissed and mastu*bating twice…]
[That’s how angry I was… I guess?]
Seems like trying to laugh it off wasn’t going to work.
“But won’t it be fine if I stream longer today?”
[Hmm…]
[I’ll be watching you carefully today]
[That’s two strikes. One more strike and well… we won’t just sit quietly]
[lol what a clown, what are you gonna do if you don’t sit quietly?]
[I’ll review bomb all the restaurants under Daeju’s name on Baedal Minjok[1] until the restaurant owners chase after you with knives]
[scared scared scared scared;;;]
Since I’ll be streaming longer today.
Before starting a long journey, I should warm up a bit. While following some stretching poses I looked up to help reduce the muscle soreness weighing down my body, I heard a knock at the front door.
“Was I expecting any packages?”
[Please let it be IRL streaming]
[It is around the time for rocket delivery]
[Doesn’t rocket delivery sound too erotic?]
[Fine, we’ll go with erotic, now shut up]
[hehe…]
Even searching my memory, I couldn’t remember.
Usually I remember when rocket deliveries are coming since that’s what I normally order. Besides that, what else could there be that would bring someone to knock on my door?
“Who is it?”
I called out as I approached the door, but there was no answer.
Looking through the small peephole in the door, I couldn’t see anyone standing there either.
Wondering if they might have left a package at the door, I opened it to find a single piece of paper had fallen.
The contents were—
I picked up the paper, carefully closed the door, and went back inside my studio apartment.
The viewers asked what happened when they heard the sudden doorbell and heard me go out, and after debating whether I should tell them or not, I finally decided to share what was written on the note, thinking maybe the viewers could help solve this dilemma.
“That’s what it says… what should I do…”
[It’s fucking late September and NOW they’re preparing for the college entrance exam lololol]
[Let’s go give them a stern talking to – tell them their son should be preparing for a strip show, not the CSAT][2]
[While we’re at it, Daeju should prepare too and debut as a duo]
[Is that why Daeju’s been working out lately? Ah lololol I had no idea]
As expected, these viewers were completely useless for getting advice.
Still, feeling like the criticism of the other person was a bit much, I cautioned them.
“Well, let’s not be too harsh on regular people…”
[But the downstairs neighbor has been pretty tolerant considering how you screamed like a dinosaur making a Jurassic Park cameo during that horror game stream]
[But Daeju is pretty quiet as far as streamers go]
[People who complain about noise while studying for CSAT are too sensitive to take the exam anyway]
[For real, I heard it’s good practice to study in noisy situations – maybe Daeju is helping them practice?]
[But it is kind of annoying that Daeju doesn’t have a soundproof booth lol]
“Ah, I looked into soundproofing but…”
When I looked into it, I heard it would be difficult with this layout.
The reason being that my studio apartment was not only small, but had various protruding parts here and there that made installation difficult.
It was already cramped, and now with furniture like the bed and other things that weren’t here before, it felt even more cramped. Maybe that moment has finally come.
“…Should I move?”
[Oh lol shit, Daeju escaping the studio life?]
[lol dream on, it’ll just be a slightly bigger studio]
[Doesn’t Daeju make good money though? Getting decent donations, and around 2000 viewers]
[Probably not enough to buy a place yet but definitely enough to rent something better]
“Ah whatever. Today we’re going house hunting together, so I’ll be counting on you experts”
[First time seeing a house hunting stream lolololol]
[How far will his content go]
[Isn’t he just a freeloader who turns things he should do alone into streams?]
[Hey now!]
I’m not sure if this kind of stream is okay, but I’ve already committed.
At my words, real estate experts started appearing one by one. The fascinating thing about having 2,000 viewers is that there’s always one or two experts or enthusiasts in any field.
[Well well… how far have you looked, customer?]
[Got anything specific in mind? Like being near a station or square footage or what?]
[Or how much you’re willing to spend is good too]
Since I’d just suddenly thought of moving after getting that note, I didn’t really have anything specific in mind.
“Well, it needs to be big enough to install a soundproof booth… but not too big either, and besides size, what else… It would be nice if it’s warm in winter and cool in summer…”
[Want me to slap you?]
[Say something properly specific so we can narrow down the options]
[How did this bastard even find his current studio?]
“Ah wait, it’s hard to think suddenly. Um… I’d like it to be close to where I live now”
[OK near Incheon Homeplus]
[lololol we all know your address even though you didn’t say it]
[That’s definitely your address lololol]
[You make good money, why Incheon?]
“Nah, I don’t have that much money.”
Honestly, while I’ve been earning well, I haven’t been streaming that long, and somehow big expenses kept coming up so I couldn’t save much. In that sense, getting a lease or buying still felt like a far-off dream.
After hearing what I said, several comments mentioned posting lists of candidates on the bulletin board.
Checking Tgether, I saw about 5 summary posts, and listings that kept being updated and posted.
On the bulletin board that had suddenly turned into a real estate office, people who didn’t watch my stream were writing posts expressing their confusion about what was going on.
“Three bedroom? Hmm… looking at it now, that’s too big? Two bedroom would be better”[3]
[F*ck, I found 4 three-bedroom listings you bastard]
[Let’s understand him. He’s that kind of person]
[Only saying this now about two bedrooms after we asked earlier]
[Question? ugh that sounds too erotic]
[For real lol Q&A is erotic too ‘Q and A’ oh shit lol I want to give Daeju some A][4]
“Alright, time for a ban~”
Even I couldn’t let that last chat message slide.
After immediately banning them, my attention returned to the numerous listings.
Going through them one by one, the candidates were narrowed down to 3.
They each had their own advantages – to list them out, first, #1 had an amazing location. Near a large mart, close to public transit, and lots of entertainment and dining options in the urban area.
#2 had tons of included appliances. The air conditioner and washing machine I’d been desperately seeking, and even a dishwasher, refrigerator, and dryer – with a bit of exaggeration, you could say I’d only need to bring myself.
The advantage of listing #3 was its overwhelming price.
While nothing particularly stood out, it was surprisingly cheap for the size, like a distressed property[5]. It looked ordinary in photos, but in this capitalist world, there’s always a reason when something’s cheap.
Could it really be a distressed property?
Like maybe someone made an extreme choice there…
“What would you all choose?”
[Has to be #1. You’ll see how convenient it is having everything nearby once you live there]
[Isn’t it #2? Seriously, think coldly about how much it would cost to buy all those appliances yourself lololol Dishwasher? Dryer? Absolutely worth it lol]
[#3 lol …picking it since no one else did lol I bet #3 is haunted]
[For real lol]
Surprisingly, people leaned heavily toward one option.
#2 got the most votes, followed by #1, while almost no one chose #3.
When they said #3 was haunted, I suddenly thought of a virgin ghost, but would it be a bachelor ghost that jumps out here?[6]
That instantly killed my interest.
So included appliances are really the deal-breaker?
True, nothing beats full furnishing for someone living alone.
“Okay then, I’ll go check out #2 and #1 carefully in person later”
[Shouldn’t you take someone with you? Honestly, you’re not exactly the thorough type]
[There’s that streamer who’s an expert at real estate]
[Oh you mean the Legend of 30%?]
[But she’s not thorough either lololol]
“Who’s that?”
[You know, that girl who’s terrible at cooking lol]
[Yeonhee]
[She just bought a place because her dad told her to and it went up 30% lololol]
[She bought it mindlessly and was like why did it go up so much lololol]
[A park got built in front of it lololol]
And then I remembered Yeonhee’s place that I’d visited before.
That obviously expensive house. Wonder how much it would be with a 30% increase.
While she had a strong image of being a klutz, there were occasionally people like that.
People who are so lucky that everything works out well for them. People who things go smoothly for like they saved a country in their past life – sometimes there were people like that around us, and maybe Yeonhee was that type too.
“…Should I ask her?”
[Yeah let’s do it]
[And it’d be good to be close friends with Yeonhee since she’s rich lololol]
[Honestly if Daeju seduced her carefully she’d probably hand over her wallet lol]
[You think Yeonhee is a d*ck? She wouldn’t hand over her wallet even then lololol]
[Yeonhee, doesn’t have a d*ck so we don’t think of her as one]
* * *
(End of Chapter)
T/N:
- “Baedal Minjok” (배달의 민족) is a popular food delivery app in Korea.
- “CSAT” (수능) refers to the Korean College Scholastic Ability Test, Korea’s nationwide university entrance exam
- In Korea rooms are counted differently than in Western countries. A “two-room” (투룸) typically means one bedroom plus a living room, while a “three-room” (쓰리룸) means two bedrooms plus a living room.
- “Q&A” is “질의응답” (jil-ui-eung-dap), the word “질문” (question) which contains “질” it can also refer to female genitalia
- “Distressed Property” (사고매물) this refers to a property where something unfortunate happened (like a death or su*cide), making it significantly cheaper than market value due to superstition.
- “Virgin ghost” vs “Bachelor ghost”: In traditional Korean ghost stories, female virgin ghosts (처녀귀신) are common. Daeju wonders if in this world with reversed gender roles, there would be bachelor ghosts (총각귀신) instead.
